Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Not At All Scary

Nobody knocked on the door of my den tonight and demanded sweets in exchange for not frightening me.

Why on earth not? Is it that they know I don't frighten easily?

Puzzled,

PS Panda

The Price Of Liberty

My friend Val says if you've nothing to hide you've nothing to fear and he doesn't mind my hanging out with him and sharing his secrets.

He still won't tell me where he keeps his cache of sausages, though.

Suspiciously,

PS Panda

Monday, October 30, 2006

Behave Yourselves

Or I'm sending the boys round:


Your friendly neighbourhood,

PS Panda

Not A Good Night

I ended up on the floor again. It was hard and cold. I suppose they thought I wouldn't mind.

Stiffly,

PS Panda

Sunday, October 29, 2006

In Despair

It's past 11 o'clock and nothing has happened. Obviously nothing is going to happen. I could crawl away into a corner and cry, but what good would that do? The situation has gone beyond tears. I have never felt so unwanted in my life, not even when I was sitting on Texaco's shelf.

Bitterly disappointed,

PS Panda

Well?

I'm losing patience.

Come on humans, cough up. Card. Present. Party. Now.

Warningly,

PS Panda

Still Waiting

I'm getting a little anxious. Where are my cards? Where are my presents? And where, oh where, is my party?

Worried,

PS Panda

Three At Last

Oh frabjous day, calloo, callay,
This Sunday is my third birthday!


Let rejoicing be universal! Free sausages for all! Set up the jelly and custard fountains! Fun, fun, fun!

But... why haven't I received any cards yet? Or presents?

Possibly my presents will turn up later. After all, I am already extremely privileged in so far as this special day of mine is special in another way, being twenty-five hours long. Very appropriate I think, as it takes a wider span than usual to accommodate my generously expansive figure. Do my humans realise this? Are they doing anything about it? Taking action, as it were, action being the very thing these busy monkeys are so proud of (and about which they are so condescending to me and my brothers and sisters).

We shall see. We shall see.

In anticipation,

PS Panda

Saturday, October 28, 2006

My Family

Good Saturday, humans and bears!

Although this is a blog - and blogs are traditionally (if such a word can be used of so new a medium even though the form it strives to replace - the diary - is ages old) places of self-revelation, not to mention angst - it is not my intention to spill all the beans, as it were (and beans do not, at any rate, form a regular part of my diet, excessive flatulence being one of the rather less welcome parts of the ursine genetic inheritance) by laying out my life on a plate, so to speak, for you to consume - or not - at your leisure.

So, dear readers, I am not about to expound autobiographically on my cubhood (which, were it only more widely known, is still only three-quarters run) or pass on titbits or, you might say, gobbets of information about my parents, relations and ancestors.

Instead, let me show you a family photo - which is to say a photo of a member of my family rather than the whole shebang which would, after all, be rather too large to fit on the computer screen which one might reasonably expect to find on the desk of any respectable home, or den. No; rather than that I would like to set out more modestly, with a picture of one of my many cousins:

Yes, I'm aware that my graceful form also features in this photo. I can assure you that the reason for this is perfectly simple and straightforward and that I am not - and have never been - an egotist. The subject of eggs is one that is quite foreign to me. It is simply to assure you that my red bow tied friend is indeed an acquaintance of mine and not some poor random creature snatched from his forest home by a ruthless wildlife photographer.

I shall not object in the slightest if you decide to adorn your escritoire or armoire with a copy of my photograph. In fact, I should be more than happy to furnish you with my autograph on request. Not for nothing are we pandas equipped with an opposed thumb! If not, of course, for the holding of pens, pencils or other scribing tools.

With my very best wishes,

PS Panda

Friday, October 27, 2006

Greetings!

And welcome! More will surely follow. Meanwhile you can admire my photo. Gosh, I'm good-looking!

Your own,

PS Panda