Ooh! Oooh!! Ooooh!!!

Look! Do you see what I see?

Could it be possible? I'm nearly sure... those ears... that nose... those beautiful eyes...

Don't you think it could be Him? And that he's escaped his cruel captivity?

I'm bouncing off the walls, I'm so excited! I'm going exploring now!

So excited,

PS Panda

Paffeh'ik Loosahs

Look at this:


Did you ever see anything so childish? So dirty-minded? So totally lacking in wit, humour or guile?

They're dead, and they don't even know it yet.

Scornfully,

PS Panda

It's Traditional, I suppose

So I'm tolerating a Christmas Truce this year. Enjoy it while you can, Brown Bears! The coming twelve months will be long, arduous and bloody.

And you will lose.

Resolute as ever,

PS Panda

I've Done All My Christmas Shopping

Yes, I just got a delivery of AK47s from eBay. All my friends are getting one tomorrow. All my enemies are getting a bullet (or two) in the head the day after.

Ho, ho, ho!

Belligerently,

PS Panda

Brrrr!

It's jolly well freezing here and I don't appreciate it.

I hope Lupin is somewhere warm. I sometimes wonder if I'm not losing sight of him altogether.

Wistful yet cold,

PS Panda

Good Morning!

Ah, yes, hello. Where was I? Oh yes, that's right. Leading a campaign. That's what it was.

Well good. Yes. Er. I ain't scared of no brown bear. Put 'em in the microwave, that's what I say!

Ha-ha!

Anyway, we had a jolly good recruitment party last night. The bamboo wine flowed like, er, wine. Jolly Good.

Here's a picture of our latest warrior, Captain Puffin. Big up the respect, my bro's.


Time for more sausage stew. Right on. Let the challenge begin!

Good.

PS Panda

An Absolute Bloody Disgrace

My Friends,

You will remember yesterday's heartbreaking announcement of the loss of MN Panda. You wept with me, I am sure, at his sad fate.

Your tears, my loyal comrades, were all in vain. Please sit down on your bottoms while I reveal the shocking truth behind the news.

Here is a photo that was taken not fifteen minutes before the ghastly image I published yesterday:


Yes - you have guessed it. MN Panda was not gone before. He had not Fallen, a hero to the Cause.

He was sodden drunk.

And when he was dragged from the undergrowth and revived all he could say was, "I am Mister New Panda. This is what I do."

Well, I ask you! I had thought he was solid. I believed in him. But yet - look closer. Do you not see traces of brown about him? Does he not lack purity of monochromicity? Is he not, in fact, a mongrel?

I should have known.

Disgusted,

PS Panda

Greater Love Hath No Panda

But That He Lay Down His Life In Support Of The Cause.


MN Panda, We Honour You and Your Sacrifice. We Will Never Forget You.

And we will never cease from hunting down those who have done this dreadful deed. Crawl in fear, Brown Bears! Your Doom is near and comes daily closer.

Sorrowful, Yet Strong,

PS Panda

The Time Has Come

Yes, my comrades, at last we are ready to strike a blow for Black And White!

Many of you have already guessed the nature of our enemy. Some of you may not. Some of you may have an idea of his name. Most of you, I suspect, have not.

So let me open my heart to you. Let me share the secret that has been vouchsafed to me.

It was little more than a week ago - a mere twelve days - as I lay sleepless in my den, tossing and turning, tormented by thoughts of the sufferings my beautiful Lupin was undergoing at the paws of his captors, that I was the recipient of a Holy Vision. A Voice spake in my ear, and my eyes saw clearly and were not blinded by the Glory Of The Highest. The Voice spake unto me a Name, and mine Eyes received an Image.

Are you prepared? Do you see clearly? Is your hearing also acute? Then here is the information you have been craving:

This is he whom we seek:

Mark this visage well. Note the vicious criminal cast of its features. Seek it out, even as it repels you with its gross ugliness. And know ye this name:

UNCLE FRED BEAR

Yes, it sounds innocent, does it not? So too, no doubt, did the name of Professor Moriarty strike the unschooled masses of Sherlock Holmes' London. But be not deceived. Just as Moriarty was the Napoleon Of Crime, so is this... bear the worst, the most evil, the most depraved of creatures. Seek him out, I say, for where he is will you also find the jewel in the crown of Pandadom - dear Lupin himself.

Be careful, my friends, for this animal is cunning and crafty in the ways of his kind. He will try to fool you with honeyed words. He will dissemble and pretend innocence. But you, I know, will see through his every stratagem and divine the wickedness that writhes and coils within his perverted mind.

Now go forth! My trust is in you. My thoughts will follow you wherever you go; yeah, even unto the darkest places of the deepest depths of brown bear depravity.

I am praying for you constantly,

PS Panda

PURPLEBOWTIE SPECIAL - THE RALLY

You will have read PS Panda's inspiring address to his people. Now, only on purplebowtie.com, here are dramatic photographs of this epoch-making event, brought to you in glorious monochrome!

We hear you, PS Panda!

All our ears are yours, beloved PSP!

The Honour Guard

Adoration Of The Young Pandas

Our Great Leader, Blessed Be His Name


If the Pandas are United,
They will never,
Be divided!!!


All Hail PS Panda!

This Is Not My Fault

I did not order this act. Let that be clearly understood.

However, it is no surprise to me that some members of the Monochrome Brigade, fired with righteous anger, have decided to, completely on their own initiative of course, strike a telling blow against our enemy. I am sure that you all can find that anger
within your own hearts and feel its blazing heat surging through your veins. I am sure that many of you rejoice to see a foe suffer the consequences of his fellows' evil deeds.

We all want vengeance. We share a common purpose. But wait, my friends. Soon I will make our strategy crystal clear to all. Soon I will name our target. Soon we will move forward.

But we will move united, my friends. We will strike when the time is right, and not before.

Resolute,

PS Panda

No Chance!

I received this pathetic little epistle today:

Orl rite. Ave it ur way. He's not worf nuffink much anyway. A tennor and teh brat's yrs.

Too bloody late, sunshine! We're going to save Lupin AND whup your poo-encrusted tails till it hurts.

Vengefully,

PS Panda

Traitor!

Valentine Panda, I thought you were my friend.

Then my attention was drawn to the message you posted here while I was busy working towards the liberation of Lupin Panda.

I am ashamed of you. I thought we were solid. I trusted you. I thought we could trust one another. But this - this is too much. Let your punishment serve to warn our enemies AND our fair-weather friends. May your pain and despair serve due notice. We are Black And White. We will NOT be defeated.


Disgusted,

PS Panda

On The Brink

Valentine Panda here,

PS Panda has gone out to a rally. He is addressing the Monochrome Brigade at a secret location not far from here.

I should have gone with my friend; to stand next to him, to confirm my allegiance, to proclaim my pride in my black and white fur.

But... I cannot. Something is wrong - something to which I cannot yet give a name. I feel a deep unease, as if I were standing on the edge of an invisible precipice.

We all may make a mis-step and, so doing, fall to our doom and the destruction of our very souls.

Very worried,

Valentine Panda

The Movement Is Growing

Thank you to our southern friends for this message of support:



I couldn't have put it better myself!

Encouraged,

PS Panda

We Are Not Alone

Messages of support are starting to flood in. Here is just one that is typical of the many we have received:



"It is high time that someone spoke up for the monochrome community. We have been polite and subservient for much too long. It is time for action and we of the Polar Bear Nation are proud to join with our black and white comrades. La Lutte Continua!"

(signed)

Saskia Polar Bear

Our Manifest Destiny

Greetings, My Friends!

Yes, I count all of you who read this journal as my friends, with some exceptions which I will come to presently.

You know of the ongoing tragedy of Lupin Panda. You have shuddered with fear and disgust as the story of his disappearance unfolded before you and I.

You have been appalled at the outrageous demands made by his cubnappers. I must pause at this point to thank all those who have contributed to Lupin Panda's rescue fund. The offer of Greek currency was especially welcome.

You have been shaken to your very souls by the obscene photographs which I have received and, only after very careful thought, published in this journal. I make no apology for the horror you and your loved ones must have felt when you beheld them. There is such a thing as brutal reality. There is such a thing as naked evil. There is, my friends, such a thing as cruelty beyond belief.

We cannot spend all our lives in the dreamtime. WE MUST AWAKE!

I know that the revelation I am going to pass on to you will shock and alarm you. I make no apology for that either. Instead, let me ask you a question. What links us all?

The orca, roaming his northern seas?
The penguin, in his Antarctic home?
The jackdaw, cawing in his English skies?
The puffin, clustered on his Caledonian isle?
The zebra, tribal-strong under an African heaven of cerulean blue?
The Holstein cow, gravid with nourishment in a misty Hampshire meadow?
And the giant panda, serene in his grove of succulent bamboo?

I am sure that you have divined my meaning. We are, all of us, proud in our blazure of black and white. We all salute the Sacred Cross of Saint Piran. We are the smartest, the most self-assured, the most hard-working, the most beautiful of all the creatures on this earth.

And we know who our enemies are.

They are among us. They are everywhere we go. We know them, for they are not like us. They envy us, my friends. How can they look upon our glory and not be jealous of us?

They carry a hatred in their hearts. It is a canker that will not die. They are ever seeking ways to do us down.

And so they have reached into the soul of our monochrome community and taken from it our most precious jewel. Lupin Panda - my beloved Lupin.

Do I need to spell it out? Do I need to go any further? I think not. We all know our foe; who he is and where he lives. We can smell him.

Go forth, my friends! There is a battle to be fought; and a glorious victory to be won!

It Won't Be Long Now

Hang on Lupin! Help is at paw.

Prepared,

PS Panda

I've Been Thinking

Val Panda says I should try not to let the plight of poor dear Lupin dominate my thoughts but I can't do that. I just can't.

I've had a lot of time to think; while sitting on the bus or in the quiet hours of the early morning. And slowly, quietly, but insistently a tiny suspicion has hardened up and become a certainty.

You see, I know who has taken Lupin from me. I know it for an absolute fact. It is a diamond-hard glittering truth in my mind.

And now I know who is to blame for this terrible crime I am ready to take action. Whatever it takes, I will do it. I have no fear.

Increasingly incandescent,

PS Panda

Don't Give Up

Dearest PSP,

Lupin Panda here. This is just a quick note to let you know that I am well and looking forward to seeing you again soon.

I am being well treated, but it is cold and lonely and boring here and I want my big cuddly PS Panda very badly.

All my love,

Lupin Panda

This Is Awful

Valentine Panda here. PS Panda is having hysterics. I think he's entering a fugue state. And all because someone slipped this photo under the door:


How could anybody be so heartless?

Deeply upset,

Valentine Panda

Keeping Positive

Could it be? Yes it could,
Something's coming, something good...

I can feel it in my water. I'm working hard, I'm saving steadily, and soon I'll have enough money to rescue dear Lupin from his kidnappers.

Maybe this week!

In anticipation,

PS Panda

Up

I feel quite unreasonably positive and optimistic today. I don't don't why.

Oh. That's got me worried.

Uncertain,

PS Panda

All Is Not Yet Lost

I received this picture in the post just before I set out for my job:



So now I know Lupin was alive on Wednesday. It's such a relief. Do you think he looks all right? I worry that he isn't eating properly. Just keep on keeping on; that's what I tell myself. And Lupin - we'll be together again soon, I promise!

Reassured,

PS Panda